Monday, December 6, 2010

The Last of the Out-of-Town Rellies

Well, the last of my out of town relatives, my middle sister, has left and is now on the way home to her house in Oz. No, not the prison show or the fabled land from the Wizard of Oz, but Australia. I keep waiting for her to acquire an Aussie accent, but no dice. She's still got her American one. I bet they love that over there. lol.

It's been great having her here, but the reason totally sucked. I imagine it's going to be awhile for all of my family to get over the grieving process. Our mum was a huge part of our lives, the grand matriarch of our clan, and our best friend and confidant. ::sigh::

I know she wouldn't want us to be sad all the time, but be happy. For her sake, and the sake of my own sanity, I have to try, but not a day goes by when I don't think of her. I hope all my friends and other family will be patient with me as I relearn what it takes to be happy. :)

I really have no interest in Yule or Christmas this year, but again, I have to try. I know Bear is looking forward to the normalcy of putting up and decorating the annual tree, so I guess we'll get one and I'll go through the motions.  He lost his father several years back, on New Year's Eve. We'd just celebrated Christmas and got the word on the 26th, that his dad had been rushed to the hospital and they didn't expect him to make it to New Year's Day. We raced to Charlotte (where my in-laws lived at the time). From that point on, he declined rather fast and I believe was simply holding on until all the family came in and all goodbyes were said.

I've tried to make an effort since then, to brighten the holiday spirit for him, and keep him active around the holidays. My own favorite holiday was and has always been Halloween, although I do enjoy Yule. This year both Halloween and Thanksgiving were bittersweet. And I know it will be the same with Yule and Christmas.

As a very good friend of mine said yesterday, we are the living, and we have a job to do. To keep living and loving and enjoying the gifts we are given--because anything less would be an insult to our deceased loved ones who cared about us just as deeply as we cared about them.


Estella said...

Keep the positive thoughts, Cass!

Cassandra said...

Thank you, Estella. ((hugs))

Mary Kirkland said...

I know how hard this time of year can be when we lose someone we love. My husband lost his grandmother a few years ago on Thanksgiving morning, so that's a very hard day for his family. All we can do is keep going.