Computer Farts and Other Oddities

Today has been a lesson is patience. I woke up this a.m. with a single goal in mind, and my day spiraled out of control from that point on. It all started when I was enjoying my morning routine of coffee and blood. No, I'm not a vampire or into the red stuff, but I am diabetic, so I test every morning fasting.

But, instead of my test strip going into my cute little biohazard bin after I did my glucose test, it flipped into my coffee. No problem, I'll just dump it out. Except that was the last cup left in the pot, so I had to make more. While the happy little coffeemaker did it's thing, I decided to read my emails. I even managed to get through about 67 of them (23 of which were about my saggy boobs needing a genie bra—how did they know? lol) when a pop up alert flashed onto my screen, saying I needed to upgrade my browser.

Seems simple enough. I clicked yes and installed the update. Then I got a pop-up telling me my java script was too old. Fine. I'll update it too. When I came back with my coffee in hand (new cup sans blood strip) I saw another notification on the screen, telling me that my OS should also be updated. Man, is my computer feeling its age. Everything on it is out of date, I thought. So sure, it's free, why not update it. So I clicked OK.

Then it said, I must restart for all my changes to take effect. Sure, go for it. And boy did I! OhMiGawd. I knew I shouldn't have trusted those happy little prompt windows! They lied, because when my computer came back on and I tried to launch my browser, all hell broke loose. The little progress icon I coined, 'the spinning beach ball of death' popped onto my screen and stayed there for about thirty minutes. I would get up, do laundry, come back and check the screen, nope. So then I did dishes and mopped the floor. Surely by now the bloody thing should be finished doing whatever it is that little spinning beach balls do.

Riight. So then I vacuumed and dusted and balanced my checkbook (very scary moment there, btw), and came back to see a COMPLETELY BLACK SCREEN! Yep, and it wasn't a time out. The beach ball had left the building, so to speak. I had ten minutes of panic and then unplugged, replugged and restarted the machine. After what sounded (I swear) like a ginormous farting sound, it came back on and I quickly tried to launch my browser. I went to the main site and reinstalled the old browser I used to use and restarted.
This time it worked.

I thought all was right with my little space in the computer world, but then had to try three times to leave a comment on bff Cora Zane's blog. So I may have to get a fart extinguisher before all is said and done. Eeps!

Learning as I go

Today is shaping up to be a day of learning by trial and error. What I've discovered is I need to spend about a year or two really learning my system software and invest in the right software tools to do what I need to do and learn to be proficient with them as well. Stringing things together and hoping they'll be okay isn't a permanent fix. It's more like 'Frankensteining' parts together and patching with duct tape. I am basically one giant ball of duct tape and so is everything in my house.

I'm just grateful I still have friends that put up with me. Seriously. I ask stupid questions because I am clueless when it comes to technology. Which is sad because once upon a time I was at the pinnacle of my knowledge, and I kept up with all the new gizmos and what they did and how they operated.  I took workshops so I stayed up to date. I could crawl under my own desk and hook up peripherals by God! I learned the term daisy chain and it wasn't a sexual reference! lol

The problem is that technology changes so rapidly, that if you don't have the time or the money, you fall behind and it's damn hard to catch up. That's what happened. Over ten years without a workshop, without the cash to upgrade my home computer or the software every six months or year since I got sick and lost my job, so I fell ten plus years behind. I once took pride in understanding what is now incomprehensible to me. So I am limping along, doing the best I can to dance and partake in this new world and it's cyber-environment, and feeling inadequate to the task.

Sure, I have made some strides. I mean, I'd never even heard of the term blog ten years ago, and now I've got a blog. I had no idea what Second Life was, ran into buildings, had no clue how to turn on my 'voice', couldn't adjust my own clothes (Had no clue how to take off my ugly camo-green bra and didn't realize it was part of the starter "skin", lol).

Today, I'm a member of many writer's groups and forums on the net and have my own website and blog—even a Facebook author page! But even more amazing, I can say I'm a published author with a straight face, and that my ebooks are out there for the world to see. I have to remember that and not my struggles with the new technology. I sometimes feel like a dinosaur, plodding through the mud, while swifter and smarter animals dance past with nary a look behind as they go beyond.

Ahh well, I suppose this is normal. Just me feeling older than dirt and about as bright as a mushroom growing in the dark. :P  Time for this old dinosaur to take a nap.

Until next time...
~Cass